|Tiny Toon Adventures|
|Season 2, Episode 77|
|The Title Card|
|Air date||February 17, 1992|
|Written by||Deanna Oliver|
|Directed by||Byron Vaughns|
|Gag credit|| Moral of the story: - Wipe your feet |
Miss Elmyra's hair and make-up by: - Floyd the Barber
|End tag||Elmyra: "Let the show begin!"|
Take Elmyra Please
The episode begins with Montana Max, as a voice-over, telling the viewers about Sepulveda Boulevard, on San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles, California. He tells the viewers that someone must have tipped the cops off about the Crazy Dame who lives there. As three police cars head over there, Monty tells the viewers that he'd like to tell his side of the story, as opposed to The Inquirer's side. Monty then yells at the cameraman, telling him to point the camera downwards. The camera points downwards to Monty in a puddle, and Monty's voice-over then describes himself as a cartoon writer, and asks the viewers how he ended up face-down in a gutter. He tells the viewers that he will tell them as long as the dramatic music cues stop. He tells the viewers that his story happened six months ago, but he remembers it as if it were today's cartoon.
Six months ago, Montana Max was on the run from one of the scriptwriters, which is revealed to be Plucky Duck, who tries to chase after him, but instead crashes into the lamp post with the Sepulveda Boulevard sign on it. Monty then tells the viewers that he "borrowed" one of Plucky's scripts, by crossing out Plucky's name and replacing it with his own. (Not that Plucky was all that original anyway, as he crossed out Billy Wilder and Charles Brackett's names before putting his name in.) Monty then tells the viewers to relax, as this is Hollywood. Plucky's voiceover then takes over, telling the viewers he was on Sepulveda Boulevard. A dramatic music cue plays, and a strong wind blows, flattening Plucky and stripping him of his feathers. Montana Max walks over to Plucky, and his voice-over asks him why he's taking over. Plucky's voice-over tells Monty that as a member of the union, he has the right to do a voice-over. Monty's voiceover then tells Plucky that he does all the voice-overs in this picture, then Monty grabs Plucky by the beak and tosses him aside. Plucky's beak, still in Monty's hands, says, "Got it.", and Plucky's body returns and takes his beak back. Monty's voiceover then tells the viewers he needed a place to hide out, so he ran to the driveway of a big mansion on Sepulveda Boulevard, which had presumably looked run-down and deserted, like one of those mansions the Cutesy-toon animators drew back in the 1930's. He then asks the viewers if any of them have seen Cutesy-toons. The viewers nod their heads, "No", and Monty's voice-over says, "Lucky you." Monty then looks over at the fountain of the mansion, and says, "Yuck!" Inside the Mansion, Elmyra Duff (who is called Elmyra Desmond in this cartoon), calls over to Monty, asking him what took him so long, and telling him she's been waiting all her life for him, as she thinks he's cute. Hamton, as Elmyra's butler, opens the front door to let Monty inside. Monty's voice-over then tells the viewers he found the perfect mansion to hide the stolen script and hide out for several days. Monty then stuffs the stolen script in one of the fountain's horns, and ruses to the front door. Hamton dusts off Monty, telling him that Elmyra is waiting for him, but before Monty can take another step, Hamton tells him to wipe his feet. Monty wipes his feet on the Willkommen mat, then walks inside the mansion. When he reaches the bottom of the stairs, Elmyra tells Hamton to have him come upstairs. Hamton tells Monty to go upstairs, but not before wiping his feet first. Monty wipes his feet again, then walks upstairs. Hamton then tells Monty that if he needs any help, he should call him. Monty's voice-over then tells the viewers he was getting real annoyed with Hamton, but it wouldn't matter anyway, as he was only hiding out in Elmyra's mansion for a few days. After that time, he would be stealing more scripts and living it up in Bel-air. Monty then opens the door to Elmyra's bedroom, where Elmyra is applying her makeup. Elmyra is happy to see Monty, but asks where her cat, Furrball is. Furrball is clinging to the chandelier, watching Elmyra circle around Monty from above. Monty tells Elmyra, "You got me, sister.", and Elmyra hugs Monty, telling him he has got her. Monty tells her, "Back off, fruitcake!", and pushes her aside. He bumps into a column, which causes the mansion to rumble, and the chandelier with Furrball clinging to it to fall to the floor. Elmyra is happy to see that Monty found Furrball, and hugs Furrball while telling Monty he won. Furrball escapes Elmyra's grasp and runs away, but Elmyra chases after him. Monty's voice-over then tells he viewers that he'd had enough and was ready to leave. Elmyra is now upset, and cries for Monty to stay to play "Hide the Kitty" with her, as she's so lonely. Furrball runs away from her after slicing her with his claws, then Elmyra asks Monty if he thinks she's cute. Monty then tells Elmyra he knows her voice, and that she's Elmyra Desmond, star of the Cutesy-toons Cartoons from the 1930's. He then tells her that she used to be big. Elmyra tells him that she's still big, but it's the cartoons that got small. Monty then tells the viewers that "It's her mind that got small!". Elmyra is upset because nobody wants cute anymore. She then grabs Furrball by his tail and tells Monty that the producer said Mr. John Q. Public doesn't want cute anymore. She doesn't even know John Q. Public, or what he wants. If it's violence, she (rather ironically) hates violence. As she says this, she spins Furrball and tosses him, and he crashes into a wall. Elmyra then tells Monty that violence isn't cute. She then hugs Monty and asks him if he likes violence. Monty tells her, "Only if it's gratuitous.", and a card flies out of his pocket. Elmyra then reads the card, Montana Max, Cartoon Writer, with Mike Maltese's name crossed out and Montana Max's name in its place. Elmyra is happy that Monty is a cartoon writer, because she is, too.
Elmyra drags Monty with her to her living room, where Monty's voice-over tells the viewers that she brought him into her inner sanctum to take shop, while the camera was doing an endless, tricky, 360-degree pan that never really paid off. Elmyra then asks Monty how long a cartoon script is today. Monty tells her that it depends on who you ask; if it's a writer, 45 pages, if it's a director, about 4. Elmyra then drags Monty and sits him down on her couch, telling him she wrote a new cutesy-toon; 101 Cuddly Puppies Meet Princess Pretty Girl. Monty then asks Elmyra if she will play the princess. Elmyra tells Monty he guessed right, and she is going to have Mr. Cooper DeVille direct it. She then asks Monty his opinion, and Monty tells the viewers, "She's off her bean!". Elmyra then says, "I hope it's a garbanzo bean." Monty shushes her, and as he walks over to a nearby chair and reads over the script, his voice-over tells the viewers that this new script could be something he could steal, er, "borrow". Monty then tries to turn on the lamp next to the chair, so he can read over the script better, but he pulls Furrball's tail, as Furrball was hiding inside the lampshade. Furrball scratches him, and runs away, while Elmyra is happy that Monty found Furrball again. She then jumps over to the chair where Monty is sitting and hugs him. Monty runs away, but Hamton catches him in a lasso and ties him up. He takes him back to the living room, and tells him that he will read all of Elmyra's script, and then reveals a mountain of script pages behind a red curtain. As Hamton plays the pipe organ, Monty's voice-over then tells the viewers that the script pages lay before him like a death sentence. As the first act of the cartoon irises out, Monty snarls.
In the second act, Monty is tied up in a chair in Elmyra's office, typing on a typewriter and his voice-over tells the viewers that he came up with a plan during the commercial break. He decided he would re-write Cuddly Puppies Meet Princess Pretty Girl, and put his name on it. As sickening as the plot was, if Monty could steal it, who cared? Hamton then comes by to tell Monty to wipe his feet. Monty wipes his feet, then continues typing with his toes. Monty's voice-over then tells the viewers that his job wasn't easy, as Hamton was always lurking, and he was a slave to the whims of Elmyra. Elmyra is then dressed a safari outfit, holding a net, and chases after Furrball, even going up the chimney! Monty's voice-over then tells the viewers that Elmyra was determined to make a new cartoon, even after the industry had given her the boot. Elmyra then peeks her head out of a painting above the fireplace, only to get kicked out by a mouse. Elmyra then tells Monty that his voice-over should stop, as it's making it harder for her to find Furrball. She then asks Monty to help her find Furrball, but Monty pushes her aside and tells her to get lost. As Monty puts a new piece of paper into the typewriter, Furrball runs out of it and into Monty's shirt. Elmyra is happy that Monty has found Furrball again. She then hugs Monty, squeezing Furrball out of his shirt and into the air. She then rushes off to the couch, and catches Furrball before he lands. After she catches him, she swings him around. Monty's voice-over then tells the viewers that life at Elmyra's mansion wasn't all working on the script and finding Furrball; once a week, he was forced to watch Elmyra's Cutesy-toons. After Monty watches one of them, his voice-over tells the viewers that Elmyra was still sleepwalking along the giddy heights of her lost career. Elmyra then runs up in front of the screen, still angry that the producers don't want cute anymore, and is determined to show them with her return to the big screen. Monty then scoffs in disapproval.
Later that night, as Monty continues to type the script, his voice-over tells the viewers that while he kept pounding on the underwood, Elmyra kept pounding on the cat. As Hamton plays Skip to My Lou on the pipe organ, Elmyra sings while swinging Furrball, dressed in a top hat. After she finishes, Hamton presses a button on the pipe organ that has the sound effect of an audience cheering. She then thanks Monty for being her audience, and Hamton says, "Encore!". Elmyra, thinking it was Monty who said it, decides to sing again, much to Monty's disapproval. Hamton then says that Elmyra has danced 17 times. Elmyra tells Hamton to play again, and as Hamton plays again, Elmyra snatches Furrball and sings again. Monty, whose face now has key prints in it, says, "Call 911!"
After finally finishing the script, Monty's voice-over tells the viewers that even though the script stunk, at least he put his name on it. Monty then asks the viewers, "What? You want me to have morals?". The next morning, Hamton loads the finished script into the trailer of his car. Monty's voice-over then tells the viewers he was going to take the script over to Mr. Cooper DeVille at Warner Bros., taking Furrball with him. Monty, still tied up in the chair, tosses Furrball into the car. On his way to WB studio, Hamton looks over the title page of the script, crosses out Montana Max's name, and puts Elmyra's name in its place. Some of the pages fly out of the trailer, and one of them lands near Plucky Duck. Plucky looks over the page, which turns out to be the title page, with Monty's name crossed out, and Elmyra's name in its place. Plucky is sure that Monty is still plagiarizing scripts, and then crosses out Elmyra's name and puts his name in its place, saying, "turnabout is fair play!". Plucky then tells the viewers, "Hey, what do you want? It's a valley!"
At the WB studio, Hamton delivers the script, and tells an employee that his script is for Mr. Cooper DeVille. He then drives away, passing by Gordon Cool's office, where Gordon Cool is, laughing at Furrball's antics. Gordon's voice-over then says, "That's one funny cat, or my name isn't Gordon Cool!"
That night, at Elmyra's mansion, Monty is still tied up in the chair as Hamton serves him some punch. Monty's voice-over then says that Elmyra threw a big New Year's Eve party. As Elmyra emerges from the curtain, Monty's voice-over tells the viewers that Elmyra was completely bonkers when she thought Cooper DeVille would direct her and her lousy script, which he stole. Elmyra then wishes Monty a happy New Year as she pushes his chair across the balcony. After Elmyra kisses Monty, he blushes, then acts disgusted. Monty pretends to be allergic to cooties, then sneezes. He then snatches a vase with a rose inside, and drinks the water from the vase to wash out Elmyra's kiss. Monty's voice-over then tells the viewers that Elmyra untied him, and it was his one chance at freedom. His voice-over then tells the viewers that he, unfortunately, made one of those stupid decisions you make in life. His voice-over then tells the viewers that it was unlike him to do so; Monty is lovestruck by Elmyra's dancing, and asks her if she wants to dance with him. She accepts, and they dance together.
Meanwhile, at the WB studio, Plucky sneaks in and switches a new title page of the script with the title page with his name, then says after laughing sinisterly, "Happy New Year, Montana Max!" The reflection of Monty and Elmyra dancing together appears in Plucky's eyes, which even Monty's voice-over admits is strange.
In the third act, Monty's voice-over tells the viewers that he, Elmyra, and Hamton got a call from Mr. Gordon Cool. Hamton drives Monty, Elmyra and Furrball to the WB studio. Monty's voice-over tells the viewers that Elmyra refused to talk to anyone other than Mr. Cooper DeVille. He then tells the viewers that he was playing cool, as he figured by the time Elmyra found out he put his name on her script, it would be too late. As Hamton opens the door, Elmyra tells Monty that she will be right back, telling Monty that he asked her to dance with him because he loves her. Monty kicks Elmyra out, and Hamton tells Elmyra to wipe her feet. He then tells Monty that someday he will end up face-down in a gutter (just like in the prologue). As Elmyra opens the door, one of the employees comes by, telling her he hasn't seen her in years, and that she's still as cute as ever. Elmyra says, "I know", and laughs. The employee asks another employee to tell Mr. DeVille that Elmyra is here. The employee rushes off, and tells everyone that Elmyra has returned. When Mr. DeVille finds out, he figures it's because of the script she sent, as he thinks she has more heart than anyone who ever worked in this town. Elmyra rushes off, and Mr. DeVille sits her down in his director's chair. She then asks him if she liked the script she sent him. Before he can give her his opinion, she interrupts, telling him he did like it, because it has lots of puppies. He tries to tell her his opinion, but she keeps interrupting him, telling him he did like it, which is why Gordon Cool called her. Mr. DeVille doesn't know what Elmyra is talking about. He tells her to stay in his chair, as he will be right back. He then tells an employee to get Gordon Cool on the phone. Gordon Cool arrives at Hamton's car, saying that he wants to use Furrball in his next movie. An assistant snatches Furrball and asks what funny about him. Gordon then tells his assistant that Furrball is a hoot, which is why he called Elmyra. Monty is outraged that Gordon wants Furrball, and yells himself to pieces, which Hamton sweeps up. After Mr. DeVille calls Gordon, he tells his employee to tell Gordon to forget about Furrball, as they'll get him different cat. Hamton then tells Monty not to tell Elmyra about Furrball, as it would destroy her. Monty tells Hamton he would never tell.
That night, Monty's voice-over tells the viewers that Elmyra walked out of the studio, convinced Mr. DeVille loved her script. As he looks for the script he hid in the fountain's horn, Hamton comes by with the script, and asks if he was looking for it. Monty tells Hamton to hand it over, but Hamton refuses, aware that Monty tried to cheat Elmyra, as he put his name on her script, but he took care of it, as he put her name back on the script. Plucky watches from the bushes, laughing at Monty in trouble. Hamton tells Monty that he made Elmyra a star, and will not allow her to be destroyed. Monty laughs, and doesn't believe Hamton. Hamton tells him that back in his day, there were three famous directors, Mr. Cooper DeVille, some other guy whose name he can't remember, and him. Both Monty and Plucky are shocked to hear this. Hamton then tells Monty he gave it all up for Elmyra, as he was her first pet. Monty tells Hamton he's crazy, and Elmyra shows up, with Furrball in her hands, asking, "Isn't the fountain romantic?", then saying she wants to use it in her cartoon. Monty rushes up to the fountain and tells him to tell her that there's not going to be any cartoon, as the studio only wanted Furrball, and Mr. DeVille was too soft to tell her the truth. Elmyra cries, as she's not going to have a new cartoon showing how cute she is. Hamton assures her that she's the cutest star of them all, and Elmyra cheers up and asks, "I am?". Monty tells Hamton and Elmyra they're both insane, as Elmyra is littered up in Laa-Laa Land, but Hamton argues, telling Monty he's a thief. Monty laughs evilly, but Elmyra tells him, "You are a poop!" She pushes him into the fountain, and Hamton pulls the lever, draining the fountain. He then tosses the stolen script in the fountain, which Plucky tries to recover when he jumps out of the bushes. Monty and Plucky both get washed out of the gutter.
As Monty's story ends, he asks the viewers, "Well, this is where you came in. Some story, Huh?". The police arrives at Elmyra's mansion, where inside, Hamton is telling the camera crew to wipe their feet. The police come in to tell Hamton his sewer is spitting off has-been writers, but Hamton shushes them, as they are about to begin filming. Elmyra comes out of her room, dressed as a princess, with Furrball as her sash, asking what the scene is and where she is. Hamton tells her it's the staircase of the palace, and everyone is waiting for her to walk down it, as Princess Pretty Girl. Elmyra walks down the stairs, happy that she is making a new cartoon again after many years. After 101 Pretty Puppies Meet Princess Pretty Girl, she plans to make many more cartoons for years to come. She walks over to the camera, telling Mr. DeVille she's ready for her close-up. Unfortunately, she moves in a little too close to the camera. As Elmyra's film ends, Mr. DeVille is pleased with the final product, and claims himself to be the producer, director, and writer, telling the viewers, "What do you expect? This is Hollywood." Plucky, Monty, and Elmyra are behind him, and they heard everything. They tell him, "This is the valley, bub!", and beat him up as the cartoon irises out.
|Joe Alaskey||Plucky Duck|
|Don Messick||Hamton J. Pig|
|Danny Cooksey||Montana Max|
|Cree Summer||Elmyra Duff|
|Rob Paulsen||Cooper DeVille|
- Joe Alaskey - Security Guard, Additional Voices
- Don Messick - Stagehand, Cop
- Rob Paulsen - Producer
- Frank Welker - Gordon Cool, Additional Voices
- This episode is a parody of the 1950 film, Sunset Boulevard, with Montana Max and Elmyra Duff in the roles of Joe Gilis and Nora Desmond, respectively.
- Elmyra's film, 101 Cuddly Puppies Meet Princess Pretty Girl is a parody of the 1961 Disney film, 101 Dalmatians.
- This episode is one of two where neither Buster Bunny nor Babs Bunny appear in character. (Babs' head can be seen on a billboard in the WB studio saying, The Good, The Babs, and the Ugly). The second is Grandma's Dead.
- Monty's business card has the name "Mike Maltese" crossed out and his name written in. Mike Maltese was a writer for Warner Bros. Animation best known for his work with Chuck Jones.