Music Day/Transcript

"But Buster, it takes dozens of highly paid network executives YEARS to come up with a TV show!" "Which means it should take us... about as long as this next commercial break." "Exactly." This article is in need of serious attention and major changes. Please consider helping out.

Music Day/Transcript

Act One

(The episode begins with a view of a proscenium theater. The audience cheers as the curtains open, and the camera zooms in, revealing the Tiny Toons playing their instruments. Fifi and Gogo are playing the harp, Banjo is playing the Banjo, Buster is playing the drums, Babs is playing the saxophone, and Sneezer and Sweetie are playing the piano. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view, moving from the left side to the right)

Buster, Babs, Fifi, Gogo, Banjo, Sneezer, & Sweetie (singing): "You can bonk a banjo or strum a harp,"

(The camera cuts to a view of Sweetie and Sneezer as they play the piano by walking and jumping across the keys)

Buster, Babs, Fifi, Gogo, Banjo, Sneezer, & Sweetie (singing): "You can play the keys, flat or sharp,"

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster playing the drums and Babs playing the saxophone)

Buster, Babs, Fifi, Gogo, Banjo, Sneezer, & Sweetie (singing): "You can make a tune any old way,"

(Fifi, Gogo, Banjo, Sweetie, and Sneezer appear close-up)

Buster, Babs, Fifi, Gogo, Banjo, Sneezer, & Sweetie (singing): "Cause' today is Tiny Toons Music Day!"

(When Fifi, Gogo, Banjo, Sweetie, and Sneezer leave, Babs continues playing the saxophone as Buster picks up a pair of symbols and claps them over Babs' head, causing her to vibrate. The camera cuts to an opposing view as Babs falls offstage, causing various musical instruments to briefly fly into the air)

Buster: "And I never had a lesson in my life."

(The screen fades to black)

Ruffled Ruffee

(The episode begins with Buster's intro tag, then the screen fades to black, then to the title card, which shows a wooden footstool and a guitar with broken strings. The screen fades to black again, then to a view outside Buster's burrow. The camera zooms in on Buster, who is sitting on some loudspeakers, practicing his electric guitar, cutting to various views of him as it gets closer. It then moves to the right side of the screen, past a pair of trees with a banner that says CONCERT tied to them, until it reaches a stage where Ruffee is performing a concert for young children. He is sitting on a wooden stool and playing a guitar. The camera zooms in on Ruffee, then transitions to a view of the children nodding their heads in a zombie-like trance. The camera moves to the left side of the screen until it reaches Ruffee)

Ruffee (singing): "Let's sing, let's sing! All is nice, all is good, and we are acting as we should. Let's sing, let's sing!"

(The camera cuts to an opposing view of Ruffee)

Ruffee: "Come on, everybody! Let's sing along!"

(The camera cuts back to the children as they continue nodding their heads, then to a close-up of some of them, moving from the right side to the left)

Ruffee and Children (singing): "Let's sing, let's sing! All is nice, all is good, and we are acting as we should. Let's sing, let's sing!"

(The camera cuts back to Ruffee. As he finishes his song, the sound wave from Buster's electric guitar can be heard. The volume causes Ruffee to spaz out, with his eardrums popping out of his ears. Ruffee falls off his wooden stool, then the camera cuts to a view of him as he tries to get back up, but continues spazzing out due to the volume of Buster's electric guitar. He finally does get back up, growling, then the camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as he rolls up his sleeves and walks up the stairs)

Ruffee: "Ruffee will be right back. Don't scooch an inch!"

(As Ruffee walks up the stairs, the children stare at him. The camera cuts to a view of Buster as he is adjusting the volume on his speakers. When he finishes, Ruffee walks up behind the speakers, and Buster tests his electric guitar, causing Ruffee to spaz out again and launch himself into the distance. Buster turns around and adjusts the volume again, then the camera cuts to a view of Ruffee as he pokes his head out of the ground and growls. He picks himself up and walks up to Buster, then the camera cuts to a view of Buster's backside as he continues adjusting the volume on his speakers until Ruffee taps him on the shoulder)

Ruffee: "Pardon me, friend,"

(Buster turns around to look at Ruffee. The camera cuts to an opposing view as Ruffee talks to Buster)

Ruffee: "But would you please... BE QUIET?"

(The camera cuts to a view of a frizzed Buster as he shakes himself off)

Buster: "Ah, a music lover, eh? Wanna hear Stairway to Heaven?"

(The camera cuts to a side view of Buster and Ruffee together)

Ruffee: "I am doing a concert for impressionable children and I do not need that electric sewage destroying their minds.

(Ruffee snatches Buster's electric guitar from him. The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Ruffee picks up the speakers as well)

Ruffee: "It isn't nice, it isn't gentle,"

(Ruffee tosses the electric guitar and the speakers, which land in Buster's burrow, plugging it up)

Ruffee: "IT ISN'T RUFFEE!"

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Ruffee, who pants heavily. When he stops panting, he turns his head to Buster)

Ruffee: "Do we understand?"

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster, who pulls out a carrot and begins eating it)

Buster: "Mmm-hmm."

(The camera cuts back to Ruffee)

Ruffee: "Good boy."

(Ruffee walks up to Buster. The camera cuts to a zoomed-out opposing view as Ruffee slaps Buster, launching him into the air and causing him to land on the ground close-up. When Buster picks himself up, he turns his head around, looking at Ruffee as he walks away, then he turns his head back to the viewers)

Buster: "That guy needs an attitude adjustment, and I've got just the tools!"

(Buster tosses the rest of his carrot into his mouth and looks at the camera with a sly grin. The screen transitions to a view of the stage as Ruffee is back sitting on his stool and playing his guitar. The camera zooms in on him, then cuts to an opposing view, followed by a close-up of some of the children as they bob their heads)

Ruffee (singing): "Good little boys don't make loud noise, they sit very still all day, and good little girls don't muss their curls, because girls don't play that way. La la la la la..."

Buster (heard offscreen, talking in baby talk): "Gangway!"

(The children turn their heads to look at the right side of the screen. The camera moves to the right side of the screen, where Buster is hopping across the seats. Instead of wearing his normal red shirt, he is dressed in a diaper and a green bonnet. He is also holding a lollipop in his left hand and a rattle in his right)

Buster (speaking in baby talk): "Coming thwough!" (in his normal voice) "Watch it, toddler breath!"

(Buster stops and stands on top of one of the seats. The camera cuts to an opposing view as Ruffee steps off his stool)

Ruffee: "Oh, excuse me, little boy,"

(The camera cuts back to Buster as he licks his lollipop and gives Ruffee the cute "Puppy dog eye" routine, then to a view of the seats as Ruffee pokes his head towards him. Buster briefly stops licking his lollipop)

Ruffee: "Are you having trouble finding your seat?"

(Buster climbs down the seat and continues licking his lollipop)

Buster (speaking in baby talk): "Nope. It's wight hewe."

(Buster shoves his diapered butt in Ruffee's face. The children laugh, but Ruffee is not amused. When the children finish laughing, he laughs nervously)

Ruffee: "Okay, why don't we sit down, huh?"

(Ruffee grabs Buster and pushes him down into the seat. The camera cuts to a close-up of the seat. Buster emerges from it, then shakes his head. He stops and stares, then the camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as he turns his head to look at the children in between him, who all have zombie-like expressions on their faces)

Buster: "Stepford kids."

(The screen transitions to a view of Ruffee onstage and the camera zooms in on him)

Ruffee: "Why don't we sing The Animal Song?"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view as Ruffee plays the guitar)

Ruffee (singing): "Animals, animals, they go round and round, animals, animals, they make lots of sounds, like the duck."

(The camera cuts to a close-up of Ruffee)

Ruffee: "Okay, kids."

(The camera cuts to a view of the children as they bob their heads and sing along)

Ruffee and Children (singing): "The duck goes 'quack' and 'quack quack quack', and then he quacks some more,"

(The camera cuts to Buster as he looks at the children he is sitting in between with a shocked expression on his face. As the children finish singing, he gives a bored expression)

Ruffee and Children (singing): "I guess that all that quacking is what ducks are for."

(The camera cuts to a side view of Buster)

Buster: "Imagine what Plucky would say."

(Plucky appears in a thought balloon on the upper left corner of the screen)

Plucky: "I'd say that this is another example of species stereotype, and I'd like a rebuttal! Now..."

(As Plucky is talking, Buster removes the safety pin from his diaper and uses it to pop the thought balloon before Plucky can finish. The camera cuts to Ruffee)

Ruffee: "Okay, now you pick the animal!"

(The camera cuts to Buster, who raises his hand)

Buster: "Giraffe!"

(The camera cuts back to Ruffee as he plays the guitar)

Ruffee: "Okay, here we go; the giraffe."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Ruffee)

Ruffee and Children (singing): "The giraffe goes... Um... uh..."

(As Ruffee tries to improvise, the camera cuts to a view of the children, who all have confused expressions on their faces)

Ruffee (singing, heard offscreen): "And then he... oooh.... some more,"

(The camera cuts back to Ruffee)

Ruffee (singing): "I guess that all that..." (blathering) "Giraffes are for." (laughing nervously) "Okay, now how about another animal?"

(The camera cuts to Buster, who, just like before, raises his hand)

Buster: "Three-toed sloth!"

(The camera cuts back to Ruffee, who slaps his face, then to a zoomed-out view of him as he steps off his stool)

Ruffee: "I have an idea; how about another song? And I know just the boy to help me!"

(Ruffee puts down his guitar, then reaches and pulls Buster out from offscreen. The camera cuts to a view of them together)

Ruffee: "Now, in this song, you're my special helper, you don't talk, you just play the drum, okay?"

(Ruffee pulls Buster up and down to make him nod "yes". He then grabs the back of Buster's diaper and lets go, launching Buster like a slingshot. The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view as Buster lands on a drum, then to a view of Ruffee)

Ruffee: "Now, let's sing, The Body Song!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the children as they cheer, then to a view of Buster's backside. Ruffee snaps his fingers five times)

Ruffee: "That's the beat."

(Buster starts drumming. The camera cuts to a view of Ruffee as he starts singing)

Ruffee (singing): "This is my head, you heard what I said, cause' I use my mouth, which is on my face, that sits on a base that is my neck!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster's backside)

Buster: "To quote Foltaire, 'Anything too stupid to be said is sung'."

(The camera cuts back to Ruffee as he continues singing)

Ruffee (singing): "These are my arms, they keep me from harm, cause' I use them to hug, this is my heart, it allows me to start, cause' it beats like a drum!"

(The camera cuts briefly to a view of Buster's backside as he begins to speed up the beat. He turns to face it with a look of determination, then the camera cuts back to Ruffee as he continues singing)

Ruffee: "This is my rear, I keep it too near, cause I use it to sit, these are my feet, they can't be beat, cause I use them to dance!" (singing faster): "This is my head, you heard what I said, cause' I use my mouth, which is on my face, that sits on a base, that is my neck, these are my arms, they keep me from harm, cause I use them to hug, this is my heart, it allows me to start, cause' it beats like a drum! This is my rear, I keep it too near, cause I' use it to sit, these are my feet, cause I use them to dance!"

(As Ruffee is singing faster, the camera cuts to a view of Buster and Ruffee together and zooms in on Buster. It then cuts to a view of Buster as he takes his hands out of his gloves. He walks away, then returns, wearing an army helmet in place of his green bonnet. He tosses six sandbags in front of the drum to build a wall to stand behind. When the wall is complete, he walks back behind the drum and puts his hands back in his gloves, speeding up the beat even faster)

Children: "More! More! More! More! More!"

(The camera cuts back to Ruffee as he continues singing)

Ruffee (singing even faster): "This is my head, you heard what I said, cause' I use my mouth, which is on my face, that sits on a base, that is my neck, these are my arms, they keep me from harm, cause I use them to hug, this is my heart, it allows me to start, cause' it beats like a drum! This is my rear, I keep it too near, cause I' use it to sit, these are my feet, cause I use them to dance!"

(Ruffee explodes. The camera cuts to a side view of Buster ducked behind the wall of sandbags as pieces of Ruffee's clothes, as well as one of Ruffee's shoes bounce past him, then to a zoomed-out view of the stage as he pokes his head out and sees a big scorch mark where Ruffee was. The screen transitions to a view of Ruffee back onstage)

Ruffee: "I thought we should hear a new song,"

(The camera transitions to an opposing view. Buster is sitting in his seat, wearing his green bonnet again. He has a cross look on his face and his arms are folded)

Ruffee: "One where no one knows the words, but me!"

(Upon hearing this, Buster gets an idea. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of him as he jumps into the air, followed by a view of Ruffee as he appears next to him and kisses him, then briefly looks over his shoulder. When he lands, Ruffee repeatedly blows raspberries. The camera cuts to a view of Ruffee onstage as he plays the guitar and begins singing his song. The children bob their heads as he does so)

Ruffee (singing): "Baby Monkey was so little and sweet, Baby Monkey tried to cross the street,"

(The camera cuts to a view of Buster as he jumps onstage, holding a piece of paper in his left hand. It focuses on him as he spins across the stage in a manner similar to that of Taz the Tasmanian Devil. He stops when he reaches Ruffee's lyrics stand and places the piece of paper over Ruffee's, causing Ruffee to sing the lyrics on the piece of paper. He walks away as Ruffee sings them)

Ruffee (singing): "He looked to the left, and looked to the right, and when the traffic was done, he stepped off the curb and was hit by a bus and knocked to Kingdom Come!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Ruffee, who has a shocked look on his face over what he just sang, then to a view of the children as they all cry. It then cuts to a view of an angry Ruffee onstage as he tosses his guitar onto the floor, breaking it to pieces)

Ruffee: "That's it!"

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view, where who appears to be the disguised Buster is sitting in his seat)

Ruffee: "I have had it with you, you rude snot-nosed little rugrat!"

(Ruffee walks up to who appears to be the disguised Buster, and the camera focuses on him as he picks him up. However, who Ruffee picks up is really a Human Baby dressed in a nearly identical way to that of the disguised Buster. The camera cuts to a view of Ruffee holding the human baby as a shadow casts over him and a giant hand pokes his shoulder)

Ruffee: "What?!"

(Ruffee turns to look at the guy who poked his shoulder. The camera zooms out to reveal it is the Human Baby's Oversized Father)

Father: "Why for you yell at my son?"

(The camera cuts to an overhead view of the Oversized Father looking over Ruffee and his son)

Ruffee: "Your... son?"

(The camera cuts to a view of the Human Baby, who gives his Father and Ruffee a happy grin, then to Ruffee, focusing on him as he puts the Human Baby gently back down)

Ruffee: "Um, there you go."

(Ruffee laughs nervously. The oversized Father picks up Ruffee)

Father: "No one yells at my son! It's not nice!"

(The camera cuts to a view of the stage as the Oversized Father beats up Ruffee. It moves to the left side of the screen, where a cord is plugged into the outlet, and moves along the cord's path, until it reaches the top of the stage, where Buster, this time, dressed in his normal red shirt, is sitting in front of his sneakers and holding his electric guitar)

Buster: "Revenge isn't sweet, kids, it's actually salty with just a twist of lime!"

(Buster adjusts the volume on his speakers, then plays his electric guitar to the tune of the Tiny Toon Adventures theme song. The camera cuts to a view of the children, who at first, have bored expressions on their faces, but upon hearing Buster's electric guitar, they are impressed. They run out of their seats, then the camera cuts to a view of the top of the stage as Buster continues playing his electric guitar. The children rush in and dance along, and the screen irises out on Buster, ending act one)

Act Two

COMING SOON

The Horn Blows at Lunchtime

(The title card is shown, which shows a trumpet with a foul stench emitting from it. The screen fades to black, then to a view outside the Music Room door. Sneezer begins practicing his trumpet, but Porky stops him. He opens the door and pushes him, along with his books and his lunchbox, which are tied together with a belt outside)

Porky: "N-now, Sneezer, y-you've gotta practice your trumpet extra hard."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of Porky)

Porky: "Alo-alo-alo-all by yourself."

(The camera cuts to a view of Sneezer, who is holding his trumpet in his left hand)

Sneezer: "Oh, I will, Professor Porky, Sir!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Porky and Sneezer together)

Sneezer: "I'll find a private place, and practice, practice, practice! You'll see! Aaah, aaah, aaah... CHOO!"

(Sneezer sneezes himself and his books and lunchbox offscreen. The camera cuts to a view of Porky)

Porky: "Ble-ble-ble-geshundheit."

(Sneezer crashing into a wall can be heard offscreen)

Sneezer (heard offscreen): "Thank you."

(The screen transitions to a view of the Acme Looniversity basement, where a crate of tomatoes can be seen in front of the furnace. Sneezer walks into the doorway, then the camera cuts to a view of him as he pushes the door open and walks in, dragging his books, lunchbox, and trumpet. It then cuts to an overhead view of him as he continues walking, followed by a view of the tomato crate as he climbs up it, dragging up his books, lunchbox, and trumpet)

Sneezer: "I'm gonna practice here in the basement until I'm the bestest trumpet player in the whole school!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Sneezer's books, lunchbox, and trumpet as they reach the top of the tomato crate. It then moves to the right side of the screen, where Sneezer is)

Sneezer: "Yep, I sure am!"

(Sneezer's stomach growls)

Sneezer: "Right after lunch!"

(Sneezer walks to the left side of the screen. The camera cuts to a view of him as he unnotches the belt over his books, lunchbox, and trumpet, then opens up the lunchbox, pulling out a wedge of limburger cheese)

Sneezer: "Oh! Mommy packed me limburger, yum!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Sneezer eating the wedge of limburger cheese and moves upwards, following the stench lines emitting from it until they reach the pipes above Sneezer and the cheese wedge. It then cuts to a view of the cafeteria, where the stench lines emit from the vent and moves to the left side of the screen until it reaches the tables. The camera then cuts to a view of the clock as it strikes twelve and Gogo appears from it, repeatedly dinging a triangle. It then cuts to a view of the tables as some of the students run to them and sit down, then moves to the right side of the screen as some other students are in line for their lunch. Plucky and Dizzy run to their tables as the camera cuts to a view inside the basement, and moves down as the stench lines emitting from Sneezer's cheese wedge continue traveling up the vent. Sneezer is practicing his trumpet, playing poorly, and emitting green musical notes from it. The camera cuts to a view of Buster and Babs sitting at a table as Plucky and Dizzy walk up to it and sit down, then to a view of Plucky)

Plucky (laughing): "Hey, listen to this joke I just heard, it's a gasser!" (laughs) "Two mallards walk into a duck blind and..."

(The camera cuts to a zoomed-out view. Before Plucky can continue, Sneezer plays his trumpet, causing assumed flatulence. The stench lines from the wedge of cheese emit from the vent, then the camera moves to the right side of the screen as Buster and Babs have horrified expressions on their faces. Buster plugs his nose and faints, while Babs sniffs)

Babs: "Oh, yuck! Very funny, Plucky!"

(The camera cuts back to Plucky, who now has a nervous expression on his face)

Plucky: "Hey, it wasn't me!"

(Sneezer plays his trumpet again. The camera cuts to a zoomed-in view of a white Plucky on a dark background, as he suddenly worries that he might have accidentally "cut the cheese". The dark background disappears and Plucky turns back to his normal green color as he looks over his shoulder and suddenly gets an idea. The camera cuts to a view of Hamton, who is drinking a milk carton, and zooms in on him. He turns into a goat and the word, SCAPEGOAT appears above him)

Plucky: "First rule in the schoolyard jungle; blame someone else!"

(The camera cuts to a view of Hamton as his normal pig self as Plucky walks up to him. They walk together as Plucky whistles, "I Was Strolling Through The Park One Day, then the camera cuts to a view of an air vent near them as Sneezer plays his trumpet again and the stench lines from the wedge of cheese emit from the vent. Plucky points to Hamton)

Plucky: "Ewww, it's Hamton!"

(The camera cuts to a view of some of the students as they turn their heads to Hamton with angry looks on their faces, then plug their noses and run away. It then cuts back to Plucky and Hamton as Plucky walks away, and Hamton drops his milk carton. He shrinks down to the size of a mouse and hides behind it)

MORE COMING SOON

Act Three

COMING SOON

Loon Lake

COMING SOON