Mary Hartless is a TV host who appears in the episode "Thirteensomething".
She is a normal-sized human woman with brown hair, who wears a blue-green business suit and pearl earrings.
In her only appearance, she appears in "Entertament Tomorrow!" where she announces a few stories, such as Elvis being spotted at a mini-mart, the cast of Different Strokes robbing Fort Knox, and other stories, but she wanted to talk about Babs (in her Babs Bunawalskioversmith disguise) and that People are talking about her getting a Oscar.
- Mary Hartless is a parody of Mary Hart, who was known as the long-running host of the syndicated gossip and entertainment round-up program, Entertainment Tonight from 1982 to 2011, which is the longest running entertainment magazine show of all time.
- When Mary said her voice causes seizures, she is making a reference to when Mary Hart's voice caused an epileptic woman in 1991 to go into a seizure. This was also parodied in the Seinfeld episode, The Good Samaritan.
- Mary Hartless is voiced by Valri Bromfield. She would later appear again in Animaniacs, but was voiced by Tress MacNeille in that series.